Dueling reviews: Thor not exactly ‘super’
Published: Friday, May 4, 2012
Updated: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 15:02
In honor of the release of the highly anticipated film The Avengers, in theaters Friday, May 4, Dueling Reviews has decided to review Thor, which leads into aforementioned film.
The plot is simple: Thor is stripped of his powers and hammer and is banished to Earth for being an arrogant war hawk. In order to get his hammer back and return to his home in Asgard, he must prove himself worthy. That’s the essential unimaginative plot. The film itself is pedestrian and full of problems.
RANT: This film is the greatest setback in feminism since Twilight. Thor’s love interest is no damsel in distress waiting for her knight in shining armor, she’s just plain worthless. Natalie Portman’s character, Jane, could not be any more useless.
Her one shining moment—the film’s climax—is when she gets the honor of uttering the most underused and underrated phrase: “Oh…my…god.” And this isn’t the “Oh my god” of a genuinely shocked person; no, this is the “Oh my god” of a ditsy valley girl, the likes of which would give the cast of Clueless a run for their money.
As for the film’s love story, Thor has a better relationship with his hammer. After all, he spends half of the film trying to win back his beloved hammer. Jane just… sits there. Seriously, if they had just dropped the useless chick, this film would be more entertaining.
Their ridiculous fake attraction is just a burdensome distraction from what otherwise would be a half-decent flick. How could the filmmakers have been so careless in creating this character? This one-dimensional, useless individual doesn’t even spend enough time with Thor to have an emotional connection, and any conscious viewer—who saw that Jane has no more than five scenes with Thor—notices this.
Additionally, the story itself is a mess. The plot is not well-structured and is as unoriginal as many other superhero movies. The filmmakers should have watched The Dark Knight, Watchmen, and X-Men: First Class for a lesson on how to create a meaningful and thrilling film.
The villain, Loki, is reminiscent of Watchmen’s Ozymandias, who attempts to create peace through destruction; although, Loki isn’t nearly as complex as Ozymandias, making his efforts elusive and meaningless. Flawed and uninspired, Thor isn’t even worth a glance.
Final Score: 1 out of 4 stars