Lee Daniels shares his own story of struggle
Published: Friday, February 14, 2014
Updated: Friday, February 14, 2014 01:02
Film producer and director Lee Daniels walked down the rows of seats yelling, “Hi, everybody! Hi!” His voice filled the Granite State Room while he marched, wearing casual jeans and a white dress shirt, to his spot at the podium.
If his 200-member audience on Wednesday night expected to hear only about Daniels’ movies or his upcoming TV show, they got more than they bargained for as Daniels painted the picture of his childhood, his fame and his home. Much like his movies, the true story of the night was one of triumph over adversity.
* * *
Before titles, before fame, young Lee Daniels walked down the stairs, his small feet sliding inside his mother’s heels. While his mother may have laughed — a sweet melody to a child’s ears — his father did not.
As he descended the staircase in his mother’s shoes, his father picked him up.
“You’re trash,” his father said, and he put the little boy in the garbage.
His father was not the only person in his life that attacked Daniels.
“I was bullied on. I knew that I was a gay guy, real skinny. About half the size I am now,” Daniels said. “Kids don’t know what their sexuality is — four, five, or six — but you know that you are different. And I knew that other people knew. And so, kids were mean.”
While Daniels’ jokes were always met with cheers from the audience, when he spoke about the more serious times in his childhood, his voice carried across a silent room. His tone was matter-of-fact; there was a sense of lingering sorrow for that younger life.
“I blocked out that I had learned to hold my bowels and my urine from first grade through eighth grade because I was so afraid to go into the boys’ bathroom,” he said. “And run home after school because I was taunted everyday. My father was embarrassed about me being different, even though he didn’t know what it was.”
Daniels explained that he later made his movie “Precious” because “I needed to look at myself.” He said he could relate to the story about the impoverished, abused character.
“I love that movie,” Daniels said with a smile. “It’s one of my favorites.”
Just as Daniels found his own life related to “Precious,” “The Butler” also helped Daniels understand his world and his father’s.
“You are black,” Daniels’ father told him. “I don’t think you understand what that means. You are gay and black. You will never make it. Never make it.”
“‘The Butler’ helped me understand him,” Daniels said. “I understood why he was so angry—because he never looked a white man in the eyes. And he felt less-than. And for me, again, it was therapeutic for me because … I forgave him for some of his meanness and why he treated me the way he did. He had it rougher than me. I come from a family of servants, who come from a family of servants, who come from a family of slaves.”
Daniels paused for a moment, looking into the audience.
“Never make it. I showed him, didn’t I?” The audience erupted in cheers and laughter.
* * *
Though his father died when Daniels was young and he moved away from his childhood bullies, Daniels’ adversities continued — this time, through his own fault.
Daniels said that his brother called him one night from jail. He was in prison for murder, and his wife was about to have twins. Daniels’ brother wanted him to take care of the kids because his wife was on crack.
Daniels told his mother on the phone that he had no desire to raise kids.
“Twins! They were crack babies!” Daniels said, an addict himself at the time. “I’m on crack! Let me get my high on.”
Daniels said he believed God was speaking to him, though, and his boyfriend made him take the kids in.
“It’s seriously the most beautiful experience of my life, raising these beautiful, beautiful kids, um, that I hate now,” Daniels jokingly said, winning the audience’s laughter once again. “I did love them then.”
Just as Daniels did all night, he taught the audience about the struggles he went through and how he overcame them. One night, he said, his boyfriend had left their home. With his boyfriend gone, Daniels saw the twins, walked over them to get a “hit” of his drugs, and then got in his car and drove away.
“[I] realized that I had left my children at home,” Daniels said. “I came back, and I was sober from that moment on. They saved my life.”
After Daniels overcame challenges of his own, he didn’t stop challenging those around him, no matter how famous they were.
“Like Mariah Carey never taking her make up off for anything,” Daniels said. “Let me tell you something. That was rough in ‘Precious.’ Her hands were trembling in the little J.C. Penney’s outfit that I was putting her in.”