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Arts & Living
The Dirt: Chrismukkah is for lovers
By Ariel S. Goldman
Friday, December 10, 2004
Hello, UNH! Have you missed me? I'm sorry that I took a little hiatus - this semester's been crazy, as I'm sure you understand; between all the projects, studying and applying to grad schools, I've barely had time to think about Hollywood and its delicious celebrities! But, I'm back, for a holiday update that will hopefully tide you over until next semester.
Well, in the spirit of the season, let's say Happy Chanukah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, or Season's Greetings to all those wacky celebs out there who keep changing their religion. Madonna - or Esther, or whatever she's dubbed herself - is still a Kabbalah girl, and I say, more power to her! She's helped any small business that makes little red strings laugh all the way to the bank, and converted quite a few Hollywood hotshots along the way. Demi and Ashton are still planning a Kabbalah wedding, or so I hear, but they're waiting for the rabbi to bless the right day. What, like that's going to make it last any longer? If I were Demi, I'd keep saving up money for future plastic surgery. If she wants to hold on to her 26-year-old boyfriend, chances are she'll need it.
In other news, "Passion" director Mel Gibson is supposedly buying himself an early Christmas gift - his very own South Pacific island! The tropical paradise known as Mago (pronounced Mungo) Island, set in Fiji's Northern Lau Group of islands, will supposedly set Gibson back an estimated $15 million - not bad for incomparable and unspoiled beauty! The 5,411 acres (about eight square miles) comes complete with a village of 40 residents (employees and their families), a two-room schoolhouse, a plethora of tropical vegetation, plus cattle, horses, goats, pigs and a bulldozer. All he needs is a church, and Gibson's set!
And rumor has it that Orlando Bloom is joining Richard Gere and becoming a Buddhist. Well, that solves the problem of what to buy Kate Bosworth for Christmas! Bloom took part in an hour-long ceremony last weekend at the Soka Gakkai International Buddhist center outside London, where he was presented with a Gohonzon, a paper scroll with Chinese and Sanskrit characters that serves as a sort of spiritual map of life. No word yet on how this will affect the wedding - if, of course, there will even be one. Bloom and Bosworth are still denying reports that they are engaged.
In non-spiritual news, congrats to Julia Roberts and...well, whatever his name is. The Oscar-winning star and her cameraman husband welcomed two beautiful (well, at least I assume they are, as Julia Roberts is their mother!) twins into this world on Sunday, Nov. 28. The babies - named Hazel Patricia Moder and Phinnaeus Walter Moder - most likely have years of teasing ahead of them, although not nearly as much as some other celebs' kids can look forward to, like Gwyn's little Apple and Courteney Cox-Arquette's Coco. "People" magazine has compiled a list of the 10 worst celeb baby names out there, including Sly Stallone's son Sage Moonblood, Rachel Griffith's son Banjo, Erykah Badu and Andre 3000's son Seven (no mention of sister Puma), and the number one worst name? Jermaine Jackson's son Jermajesty. Now c'mon man, that's just plain cruel.
Now for everyone's favorite: the quickies. First off, sympathies to the Barrymore family for the passing of John D. Barrymore, Drew's dad. I don't actually know a single thing about him, but losing someone is always sad. One good thing that came from this was that Drew and her estranged mother have been reconciled, at least for the time being. In less-upsetting news, Britney Spears has adopted a new Chihuahua, perhaps a birthday present (she turned 23 on Dec. 2) from hubby Kevin. When the Federlines went out to dinner in Malibu, Brit dressed the tiny pup in a red jacket with fur hood, and toted along a bassinette complete with water bowl. This is actually pretty good news, considering it means she's probably not pregnant. Phew! And finally, Barbara Walters has named Paris Hilton one of the most fascinating people of 2004, along with filmmaker Michael Moore, "Jeopardy!" champ Ken Jennings and the Bo Sox's very own Curt Schilling. Now, I did see last week's episode of "South Park" featuring Hilton, and while it was hilarious, I don't really understand how being rich, super-skinny, and...let's just say, "sexually liberated" makes you that famous or interesting. At least not compared to really talented people like Schilling and Moore. But anyway...
Have a happy, safe, relaxing holiday season, and enjoy winter break! I'll see you all again next year!
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